Every person who’s come into St. Vincent de Paul’s assistance office has left with — at the very least — a hug, courtesy of Denise Agee.
The signature embrace exemplified the love and compassion Agee extended to all of her clients — what’s amounted to thousands of families throughout her long career in Bremerton.
“I’ve always believed everyone deserves a good hug,” Agee said.
For the past three decades, Agee, 61, has been at the helm of St. Vincent’s assistance office: running the charity’s food bank, distributing community donations and support funds, and helping the women’s shelter.
In that time, Agee has become a cornerstone of Kitsap’s social services community, known for her special ability to connect with and provide dignity to people often at their lowest point in life.
Most clients she knew on a first-name basis. Many times she’s watched their kids grow up. She’s helped multiple generations of some families. And nearly everyone who came to St. Vincent de Paul for assistance came to see Agee, knowing they would feel better, if only a little, after talking with someone who truly cared.
Last week, Agee retired after 30 years of service at St. Vincent’s, leaving a legacy dedicated to helping those who most need it. “I’m going to truly miss it, because I truly love helping people,” she said. “I’m going to miss that. I’m going to miss my hugs.”
Agee — one of few paid employees at St. Vincent’s assistance office — had an outsized impact throughout Bremerton. That was on full display Friday afternoon at Our Lady Star of the Sea Catholic Church, where community members gathered to celebrate her retirement.
As city leaders and former colleagues spoke of Agee’s dedication to the community, a steady stream of people approached Agee for a hug. “She has a heart the size of the state of Washington,” one attendee told the crowd.
“Half of her life has been dedicated to you, her clients and this beloved city of Bremerton,” said former Bremerton Mayor Patty Lent. “Where would we be without Denise?”
However, Agee’s work was never about gaining recognition or praise. Those who know Agee say she was always focused on building close relationships with the countless clients and volunteers who came to St. Vincent over the years.
“She treated everyone the same and she really loved and cared for every person that came in there,” said Polly Gerrish, who has worked alongside Agee for more than 20 years. “She brought the love to the whole organization.”
Gerrish, who has managed St. Vincent’s women’s shelter for several years, will take over Agee’s role.
With a penchant for gaining people’s trust, Agee’s worked with a non-judgmental attitude and down-to-earth approach, along with a healthy dose of humor. And her official signature, a smiley face (yes, even on her driver's license), was a sure way to put clients at ease.
“To walk into any food bank door or assistance door is so humbling,” she said. “I just treated people how I would want my family to be treated.”
Despite her small stature and loving nature, Agee was anything but a pushover. Clients and co-workers alike attest to Agee holding her own when dealing with difficult situations, along with her tenacity in seeking aid for clients, even if that meant playing hardball with the power company to keep a client’s heat turned on.
For Agee, there was nothing better than breaking through a challenge or turning “no’s” into “yes’s” to get what her clients needed.
Sarah Eichhor remembers going to St. Vincent’s during a rough patch more than a decade ago. Agee sent her home with a gas voucher, food box and some cinnamon buns for her son, but Eichhor says she received far more than physical items.
“I guess people like Denise made it possible to ask for help with some dignity,” said Eichhor, now 42. “We always remember people that treat us well.“
Dayna Strong, who sought St. Vincent’s help on-and-off for several decades, says Agee was always genuinely concerned about how people were doing. “There was no shame. You felt like you were going to see an old friend,” Strong, 58, said. “She did that with everyone.”
Those working alongside Agee say she cared for every client, no matter what their situation was.
“Her clients loved her,” said Carol Loidhamer, a longtime volunteer at the assistance office. “A smile lights up on their faces when they can come and see Denise.”
Though there’s often a high level of burnout in social work, Agee always had the energy to serve everyone the best she could, said friend Sheryl Ann Piercy, the volunteer coordinator for nonprofit Coffee Oasis.“Thirty years of doing direct services and she’s still compassionate,” she said. “She just never lost that passionate driven to serve others.”
Patti Peterson, a member of the Kitsap County Food Bank Coalition, said Agee not only knew most clients by name but understood them as people. “She feels their pain, she feels their joy,” Peterson said. “That really means a lot.”
For Agee, her ability to connect with clients was rooted in her own experiences.
Growing up in the Puget Sound area, Agee was the oldest of six kids with a single mother. The family often struggled to get by — at one point living out of a station wagon— and relied on the community's generosity and aid.
“I know what it's like to walk through a food bank door,” Agee said.
While Agee learned the importance of giving back first-hand, she taught the same values to her own children, who grew up helping out at St. Vincent's food bank and thrift store.
“St. Vincent was a really big part of our lives,” said 38-year-old Char, the younger of Agee’s two daughters. “Being part of that community really shaped me growing up.”
To her children, Agee appeared to be famous because everywhere the family went people would come up and say "hi." “It would always take us an extra hour,” said 40-year-old Jamie, Agee’s oldest daughter.
“She never made it seem like these people were anything but wonderful,” Jamie said. “I didn’t know these were her clients. I just thought these were her friends and she was really popular.”
Even today, the Agee family remains closely tied with St. Vincent de Paul.
Jamie and Char still volunteer at the food bank every year during the holidays. When Agee’s husband, Mark, died in 2014 from ALS, the family saw an outpouring of support from the St. Vincent community. It’s only fitting that Agee’s current boyfriend was also a volunteer at the assistance center.
Jamie said it all shows that her mother’s work was far more than a job. “This isn’t something that you just do because you are going to get a mansion out of it or you are going to be a millionaire,” Jamie said. “She does this because it was her calling.”
In retirement, Agee said she plans to take some “me time”: traveling and reading, spending more time with grandchildren and trying her hand at gardening.
Though it’s a much-deserved break, Agee’s successor Gerrish said her longtime friend will be dearly missed by clients and colleagues alike. “I want to carry on to what she’s done,” Gerrish said. “I certainly want to treat the clients the way she did.”
Sitting in the assistance office — where she’s helped family after family for decade after decade — Agee says St. Vincent de Paul will carry on its important work, even if she doesn't.
“I just want to see it carrying on with compassion,” she said.
Austen Macalus is the Kitsap Sun's social services reporter. He can be reached at austen.macalus@kitsapsun.com or 360-536-6423. This coverage is only possible with support from our readers. Sign up for a digital subscription.
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