STAMFORD — Stamford Public School leaders held a Zoom call with city parents Friday evening — to help them help their kids make sense of events dating back to Memorial Day, when a white Minneapolis police officer was filmed kneeling on the neck of a helpless black man.
The man, George Floyd, died after police officer Derek Chauvin knelt on his neck for more than eight minutes, while three other officers stood by.
The Stamford conversation was the first of many to come, said Public Schools Superintendent Tamu Lucero. She said the call was scheduled to ensure parents are equipped to discuss difficult topics like Floyd’s death and the slayings of other African Americans by police — and the broader subject of race in general.
Superintendent of Stamford Public Schools Tamu Lucero.
“At least today, we can hopefully help give you some guidelines as to helping your students process … what they’re seeing over the next couple of weeks,” said Rebecca Wilson, coordinator of college and career readiness and counseling services for Stamford Public Schools, who also told parents there’s no hard and fast rule for discussing the complex circumstances.
Research shows children have awareness of racial differences starting as young as six months old, Wilson said. Therefore, it’s imperative that parents educate their children about racism and prejudice and control the narrative that their kids are hearing from a young age, community leaders said.
“I’d be listening when your kid is talking to their own friends about what they look like and who they are,” Wilson said. “Really take the time to listen, to find out what your child is talking about, when it comes to what we know race to be.”
Experts said parents should be calm, clear, direct and factual in their approach and should not be afraid to share their own emotions during the discussions. As youth are sharing their views, parents should validate the child’s feelings, while also encouraging them to speak up if they identify instances of racism and prejudice.
One parent asked if it would be appropriate to show their child the video of Floyd’s death.
Yenny Toone, director of early education at Greenwich-based Family Centers, said the video is graphic and traumatic for even some adults to watch. She said parents can talk about where they stand in an age-appropriate conversation rather than exposing the child to traumatic violence.
“For the children that have seen it, they have difficulty sleeping or dealing with the images,” she said. “I’d steer away from it and steer more toward conversation.”
Another African-American parent said she feels anxious when her children visit the predominantly white neighborhoods of their friends. The mother said she’s concerned about how police and members of white communities might view her black children.
Wilson said one step parents could take would be establishing a code word that their child could use by phone call or text message if they were to find themselves in a precarious situation. It would signal the parent to retrieve the child and bring them to safety, Wilson said.
Police Chief Tim Shaw, who took on his role two months ago, said he’s been meeting with members of the community. He plans to meet with school leaders soon to discuss ways to “assist the school and the community to let people know that we won’t tolerate what’s going on in the country as far as police violence.”
“We’ve heard it loud and clear that we have to do better,” he added.
Although the coronavirus has caused the closure of schools, Stamford Public Schools leaders said they encourage parents to still reach out to them for help.
Elementary school parents have access to school social workers and middle and high school parents can request assistance from school counselors. Outside mental health professionals can also become a trusted resource for struggling parents, Wilson said.
“It’s important to ask for help. That’s why help is there,” she said.
A recording of the conversation will be posted in English and Spanish on the Stamford Schools website at www.stamfordpublicschools.org.
tatiana.flowers@thehour.com @TATIANADFLOWERS
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